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From causality therapy to resonance mentorship.

When you are not well or stuck in some way, it's understandable that you come to a point where you seek help. You aim to get and feel better. Perhaps a doctor or therapist may know the cause of your problem and have a solution for you. This is how many of us have been conditioned to think.

However, it doesn't seem to work that way.

First - very few doctors or therapists will know the root cause of your situation/experience.

Second - often they therefore also don't really know the solution. The best most practitioners can do is to manage or lower the symptoms you are experiencing - with or without negative side effects (interesting article in the National Library of Medicine).

To be clear - when you have a heart attack - you need urgent care and take care of the fire. When you've lost a limb, you need to go to the hospital. No doubt.

However, when the heart attack danger has been dealt with - what is your point of view of why this happened to you? And what about cases such as depression, loneliness, pain or headaches?

What happens when a doctor or therapist tries to find the cause of your issue? He or she will draw from his or her experience, other client cases or book knowledge. This is easily a comparison between apples and oranges. That is because you are unique. Some in the medical profession are trying to 'diagnose' you based on a 'standard' system - but standard does not apply to a human being. This is because you are your experiences. And your experiences are unique.

Take the example of going to the movies with a friend. You both watch the same movie - but your experience of the movie is different. You may remember different details, different scenes or have a different recollection of what the neighbouring person in the chair next to you was eating. No two people experience something the same. In fact, there is no living being on the planet that is the same. Even a leave will not find its exact copy.

Who knows then and how?

This is why the title of this article mentions therapy and mentorship on the one hand and causality and resonance on other.

  • Therapy means: medical treatment of disease of the sick.

  • Mentorship means: guiding someone who is learning.

  • Causality: acting as a cause.

  • Resonance: to sound again, sound back.

Causality therapy works from the assumption that when you do this, then this will happen. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a good example of this. If you think this way, then you will behave that way. Medication also follows this pattern. If you take this pill, you will get better.

The therapy part of it often means that we assume that the therapy did the healing job. The pill. The cognitive therapy. The technique or treatment.

Much of this thinking is rooted in the perspective of a pure biological material world. At this level much is mechanical and cause-effect driven. Gravity for instance: you drop the apple and it will fall to the ground. This will always be the case (within the five senses perception world).

Now let's take another example. When you drive recklessly, you will cause an accident. This is not a universal law. Not all reckless driving will cause an accident. It becomes a possibility and probability. We enter the universe of meaning. This is no longer just a mechanical process, it is a psychological process. It is far moren difficult to predict cause and effect relationships when you are dealing with psychological patterns.

When you experience depression, the number of potential causes are countless. The universe of meaning is entirely subjective and personal. For an outside, it is like looking for the needle in the haystack. However, for you it's different. You dropped the needle in there somewhere, and you can remember where.

When we look at it as a subjective meaningful universe instead of a biological mechanical world - your depression experience has a particular meaning for you.

Now you have narrowed down your search for finding the meaning of the depression for you.

Let's make it relevant to the present moment of your life. Not the past - but the present. Do you want the experience of depression? Probably not. What do you want to experience? This way of thinking is resonance thinking (and feeling). You have moved your attention away from the past, away from the depression, and toward what you want in life.

The meaning of the depression in this case is seen as a messenger (not a nice one, but don't shoot the messenger). What is the message?

The message needs to be decoded. Somewhere in you lies the key. The trail to get to that key is memory and the compass is resonance.

It turns out that when you direct your attention to remembering what you do want, the roadsigns start to appear back to a root experience that has something to say about your depression. Resonance works through your intuition and feeling system. It's not an analytical exercise of figuring out a cause-effect relationship. The relationship is not logically remembered, it's emotionally remembered. Because it is your emotion in the drivers seat, someone other than you won't likely figure out what the relationships are. It's often not at all that logical or what you expected it to be.

If you are experiencing depression or another form of disliked experience, it is likely because something in you is off-balance and in disharmony. Your system and you want to be in balance and harmony. Your body mostly follows your mind - so if you are having physical symptoms - chances are your mind was first to show 'symptoms' of disharmony.

Another way of saying to be in balance and harmony, is to be your true natural self. We say that the best medicine is the freedom to be yourself. That is because when you are free to be yourself, you also experience balance and harmony in your mind and body. Very few people are in complete balance and harmony (the meaning of this is a topic for another article). You may still experience obstacles, but they won't be as derailing as for instance a depression can be.

So, depression is a signal that you are not you in some way. This generally means that you are not pursuing the experiences that give you joy and 'resonate' with you. To be yourself is easiest understood as doing and being what you like and love doing and being. Why would you not be you? Do you remember what you want? Those are the two key questions.

Remembering what you like and love is what gives meaning to your life. Life wants to be experienced. You want to experience. In fact, experiencing is unescapable. It is the continues force in you moving forward. Even when you sit still you experience (sitting still). Experiencing a depression is meaningful in the sense that it tells you that you are off track being you. Getting back on track requires remembering what you do love.

When something is blocking you to be your normal true self, it is emotionally related to something you want to do or be - but are not. Somewhere along your life path a root experience thought you that being that part of yourself was not ok. To remember, you follow the feeling you get when approaching what you love doing and being. It may scare you, freeze you, block you, stress you. You follow the emotional feeling relationship, not the analytical thinking. You focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.

As simple as this sound, it can be quite challenging to retrieve that memory and relationship. Even remembering what you love can be challenging. These memories can be buried deep under a lot of pain, far deep into your subconscious.

In order to reach that depth, you may need to 'wake up' that part of your library or databank and the elevator that gets you there. The analytical engine needs to make room for your emotional feeling system to come through. However, you may have lost touch with your intuitive side.

Einstein said it well:

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

You may have become overly emerged in the biological and analytic cause-effect point of view and don't remember and don't trust the intuitive feeling ability in you anymore. However, when you look around you, it doesn't seem to be a good idea to be off balance that way. You need both.

Once you connect with your intuition and follow your feeling to what you love, and from there to what hinders you in being that, your thinking mind becomes invaluable. It can do the transformation work to learn something different from that disrupting experience that took you off your path of being you. The logical mind is amazing, when you know when to use it.

The steps a resonance oriented mentor would suggest you take, are:

  • Remember what you love doing and being

  • Follow your feeling of joy to positive memories to remember it

  • If difficult, relax deeper, let the thinking mind rest and let the intuitive mind take over for this part

  • Once you remember what you love to be - wonder why you wouldn't just be that

  • Usually, some thought or feeling will appear

  • Follow it, it will resonate with feeling and emotions related to past experiences

  • Once you find a related experience - see what you might have learned from it at that time: what conclusions, believes, self image and worldview was born in that moment

  • Your intuitive and logical mind may find another way to look at it, now that you look at that experience from the perspective of the person you are today

  • The change of perspective on that experience generally already release the emotional charge you initially gave it - sometimes you may need to give yourself an additional way to cut the ties.

  • From that clean up, move forward it time step by step - often other related experiences that reinforced your initial learning will pass by - cut them loose.

  • Rinse and repeat if any others 'wants' and 'desires' in you - all things you love being and doing - are blocked.

Notice, that you are doing the work (not the mentor or technique). And notice that the 'work' is simply following where your intuition brings you (not causality but resonance). It's not 'hard' work in that sense. It's more like day dreaming. Sometimes this may get emotional - yet it doesn't have to be heavy. Those tears need a way out if they were stuck inside - to unblock you.

The 'work' is not yet complete. 'Being yourself' in the real world wasn't easy in the first place, hence you getting off track by some external influence. To bring more harmony, you need to experience who you want to be, because of being yourself. We call this the triangular perspective: I experience what I want because of who I am. It's fair to say all of us are trying to get there.

Does this have anything to do with a heart attack, chronic back pain, being overweight or feeling empty? It depends on your point of view. If you believe in a biological mechanic world, perhaps not. If you believe in a meaningful purposeful universe, then start with the meaning of life, especially your life. See if you are living that meaning. If not, why not?


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