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Who is in charge?

By Kamla de Haas

I am a warrior, she was standing in front of me, with a frowning forehead, balled fists and a high breath. If her eyes could spit fire they would.

I asked her if she was willing to let go of her warrior, one look at me and it became clear that the warrior was not ready yet. What are you fighting for? A bit confused, she looked at me.....ME

O.K, why is that necessary? Silence...

Can you recall a time where you felt the same way you feel now, I asked. 7 years old at school. My parents were called to school because I was too talkative in class. After the talk with my teacher my parents decided to go on vacation without me. Her demeanor changed from warrior to little girl in a heartbeat. She looked defeated, hurt and lonely.

What does this little girl need right now? I asked. She looked clueless for a split second, said 'no idea' and after another second the warrior came back. She was ready to fight again. Fight for her existence, fight for her being, fight for her place. This little girl was so hurt and tried to mask it with a fight.

Unfortunately I see this often. Grown ups by age with the behavior of a hurt child. We all have experienced trauma with a little t or a big T. The big question is are you dealing with it now?

This is what I call shadow work and inner child work. If humanity would look at their own wounds and heal them, the world would look and feel so much different.

What is your inner boy or girl telling you, showing you? Where are you still fighting/defending or fleeing from? When are you willing to face life full on with everything that that entails?

We have to take care of the children and that starts with the ones that still live inside you and if you are not conscious they are ruling your life. From a place of hurt, sadness or anger.

Written by Kamla de Haas (


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